Bali

"Ha ha!!! I'm a millionaire!!!" Adam says as he trades in a measly S$150 at the money exchanger. We had just arrived in Denpasar and everything was perfect.  Smiling faces and an easy visa on arrival for $30 US.  We jumped in one of those rip-off cabs at the airport and headed to Kuta Beach.  After walking around for half an hour, we settled on a pricier hotel for a few nights until we could find a cheaper one in the area.  We drop our stuff in the room and headed straight to the beach. 

That's when I met Jackie.  He was this wide-smiling local kid with pretty good english and enough charm that we hung out with him for a few days.  The first day he took me around on his friend's moped to go check out boards to buy.  I found a 6'2" Santa Cruz epoxy board for 3.5 million rupiah.  I told the owner that i would come back the next day.  Later on, i was passing the internet cafe and saw a 6'1" Al Merrick with a snapped nose that had been fixed.  I talked to the guy and ended up giving him close to $80 US for it.  (A fucking steal)  

The hotel that we stayed at was really quite nice but the only problem was that they were doing construction from 9 to 5 everyday.  Waking up to a hammer or a saw in the morning a few hours after you fall asleep isn't a great way to start your day. 

 

The first night we met Adi the drug dealer.  He said he was a Muzzie and was only selling drugs to put food on the table for his daughter.  I asked him if he was a cop or informant and he showed me his prison tattoos and said "Fuck no."  We followed him to an alley and  bought two bags of mushrooms from some sketchy shop with a bunch of Indo guys hanging out smoking and drinking.  I pocketed them and we decided to call it a night. 

The next day Joakim, Henrik and Said showed up around breakfast time.  We went down to the beach and they all rented surfboards to do battle against the ankle-biters of Kuta.  We got back to the room and Adam looks at Joakim and Henrik and says "svamp?"  Henrik decides to opt out and we split the two bags four ways.  We ate them with chocolate candy.
Forty-five minutes later and not much happening.  Samir is looking at the clouds and i'm laying on the floor watching the trees blow in the wind.  We go for a swim and discuss how we potentially got ripped off with weak mushrooms.

"You guys feel anything at all?" I asked.

Samir replies "Yeah.  A little.  Like everything is just a little different."

and then Adam says with a frown "NO.......nothing.  This was just.......expensive vegetables.Next, we're all on lounge chairs watching the construction workers lay tiles.  Joakim and i are having a conversation.  For once, he's doing most of the talking.

"Do you remember when you were a little kid?  Like, do you remember when you were nine." i ask. "Yeah....but i liked when i was eight......yeah.  Eight is better.  I was really happy then.  I remember sitting in school.  In the classroom, i was sitting there.  and i remember thinking.....yeah, i'm happy."  Joakim says as he ends with a smile.  I laugh at the shallowness of his story and he laughs too.

The next morning Jackie took us to Dreamland provided that we paid for his bike rental and petrol to get there.  Driving in Bali is actually quite fun.  There are hundreds of mopeds on the road and only a few cars.  Everyone goes really fast and you can hear horns honking up and down the street.  We showed up at Dreamland and the wave was breaking overhead.  I was daunted by the size of the waves but I paddled out and realized that the wave was really slow and hard to catch.  I paddled in and the others told me that Joakim's camera had been stolen.  Joakim looks at me and says, "Sad, but true" with a slight smile.  We ate lunch and Jackie slept because he had no money to eat.  He borrowed Henrik's iPod and blew out the headphones on the ride home.  He handed them over to Henrik without saying a word.  

We found a cheaper place to stay a little farther from the beach called the LA Inn.  Two doors down was another mushroom store.  Their business cards said "Ticket to the Moon" on one side and the other said "Go Fucking Nuts" and had the many ways that they sold them.  A family lived there.  A guy named Oschar, his wife and their daughter.  They also were tailors and did dreadlocks out of the same shop.  The little girl was playing in the back of the shop.There were two Swedish kids there. One was getting his hair dreadlocked when we showed up.  As we inquired about the pricing, i asked how many grams were in a bag.  Oschar shrugged his shoulders, i looked at him disgustedly and said ,"What kind of drug dealer ARE you?  You don't even weigh it out?"  The Swedish kid started laughing hysterically and told me that i said the funniest thing he's heard since he's been in Indonesia.  We sat around in a circle and talked about funny things that have happened so far.  Adam, Samir, Joakim and i each took a double dose of "svamp" in a blended smoothie.  Five minutes later, we tried to leave the store but couldn't stop staring at the ground.  It swayed back and forth with a rich texture.  We all stood in admiration and laughed maniacally at the beautiful blacktop.  We meet up with the girls and Said at the pool.  We can't stop laughing and the world was marvelous.  We all decided that going to the beach to catch the sunset would be a good idea.  We start to head toward the ocean and Joakim and Samir tell us that they'll meet up with us later.  Joakim wanted to buy a ukulele.  (At that specific time, i don't know why.)  He later told me that buying it was incredibly difficult.  The guy named a price and although it was more than he wanted to pay, he couldn't stop laughing and ended up paying full price.  

An hour later, Samir and Joakim meet up with Adam and i at the beach in the dark.  The street on the beach pulsates with life but the sand is empty and  lonely.  I keep telling Adam that he's a "nigga" and Adam swears that i'm a dolphin.  The sky looks like the ocean and we all try to swim around.  "Oh no!!!! Jellyfish", Joakim says as he points to a star.  Next a tractor carrying a large pipe rolls by.  We all stare in disbelief with loose jaws.  It came by every half hour moving pipes from one end of the beach to the other.  

We tell stories and laugh at dumb things.  Joakim sits there with a confused look on his face.  "I have so much space in mouth," he says.  "Where's my teeth?.......oh there they are."  He builds a mound of sand and plops a lit cigarette into the top.  The beach is smoking a cigarette.By the third or fourth day, most of us are tired of Kuta "buy something" beach and we decide to see what other beaches Bali has to offer.  We pack our stuff and check out of our room.  We spot some guys and ask about a ride.  While Samir is negotiating a price, this little guy come up to Adam and says," Hey....do you like pussy?  Cause i got 50 pussies!!!"  My ears perk up and i walk over to him and say," Really?  Lemme see!"  He turned red with embarrassment and walked away.

The guy driving us looks like my Mexican uncle and he drops us off in empty Balian beach.  We get a room and walk down to grab some food and watch the surf.  Samir is smoking a cigarette.  I decide to paddle out and end up with a jellyfish sting within 20 minutes.  Balian is a nice beach with not-so-nice sea animals.  
After one day, the Swedes had enough of Balian with nothing to do, so we headed back south and stopped at Changgu to catch a few waves.  We pull up and see a nice left over some soft reef with some local kids surfing it.  The oldest one was no older than 13.   After the surf, i enjoyed some Gado-Gado on the beach and we caught a cab back to Kuta.This time we rented mopeds for a few days and decided to see Sanur beach on the east coast.  I read somewhere that Sanur was the most geriatric beach in Bali.  The beach was empty and there was a nice right breaking beyond a sea wall.  Old people were sparsely located around the sand and in the water.  There was however, a super hottie with her boyfriend eating at the same place that we stopped at.  She was probably the best thing to happen to Sanur Beach  in a while. Adam, Samir and i decide to ride to Ubud and Henrik goes back to Kuta.  I'm riding alone and Adam is driving Samir cause he already had a moped accident once.  At every stoplight, some guy is trying to talk to one of us.   Someone would lean over and say "where you go?" and then "where you from?"  "Oh, Ubud?  What you want from there?  I have a shop.  Come take a look."  They would motion for us to follow them, so they could try to sell us things that we don't want/need.  

We made it to Ubud and saw nothing but art galleries and small Kuta-like shops.  We walked a bit and found a Monkey Forest.  There were a lot of Americans there and one i was talking to had just bought bananas and was standing talking to me.  Suddenly, a monkey ran up, snatched the bag, grabbed the bushel and ran. 

The place is crawling with monkeys and tourists alike.  Some Polish girl is standing next to a monkey looking awkward and scared a bit.  Adam stands there and says that he'll "kick a monkey and kill it" if it tries to attack him as he demonstrates kicking the air.  The monkey immediately goes into attack mode and shows fangs and the Polish girl yelps and back away.  I read Adam's body language as he prepares to defend himself.  The monkey tamer comes and calms him down.  I never bring my camera when the cool things happen.  

Next we se Samir's roommate and Ze German in the forest.  His roommate is actually quite a funny character.  Samir says that "he hardly exists".  

The last few days were spent in Kuta beach laying on the sand while guys wake you to try to sell you something.  We made friends with one of the masseuse women at the beach.  Her name was Sandy.  She was older, unmarried and poor.  She was really pleasant to be around but you could see in her eyes that her spark was dimming.  Quite sad really.  I remember having a conversation on svamp about Sandy.  We were joking about the word "Massage" and how it's a cult that traps young Indonesian girls to live on the beach giving massages to tourists.  Some things are only funny once.Buying things in Bali is actually quite fun.  Personally, i love haggling and fucking with the salesmen.  Sometimes i stand really close face to face and breath really hard just to see what they do.  Once, Henrik and i were trying to buy some tanktops at a shop.  As we're negotiating the guy tells us that "you guys come to Bali and you kill my business."  He says it with a noticeably sad facade that tells me that i could go even lower.  I walked away and he throws the shirt at the ground and yell at me to come back and pay my price.  I almost always winSometimes, i ask for things that i know they don't have.  My favorite guys to fuck with are the drug dealers.  They stand there and whisper "hey! marijuana?" as they make a inconspicuous smoking motion with their hand.  I would ask for drugs like DMT or PCP knowing that they have no clue what that is.  I also like the DVD bootleggers.  You stand there looking at Hollywood movies and they whisper on your ear "DVD porno?"  I ask for Gay porno and watch their faces writhe in disgust. There's so many things about this place make it so fun.  I believe that Bali could quite possibly be my favorite destination on Earth.  Cheap beer, cheap food, great surf, good weather, nice culture, mopeds, pretty beaches  and of course "svamp"

What more could a 22 year-old guy ask for?

Last night

I'm asleep and dreaming.

My parents are there and so are my friends.  We're at some party and someone walks in.  I don't know him and he draws a gun.

BANG! It's raining outside and the thunder hits louder than i've ever heard before.  I pause for a moment and think about my surroundings.  I'm in bed, in my underwear, my mouth tastes horrible, Big Sal isn't home and the rain is permeating my thoughts.  What happened?  

Let me recap on last night:

Everyone met at Staff Club because they needed to buy tickets to the MRT pub crawl.  The place place becomes a tin can and we are all sardines trying to buy a drink.  Khaleedah grabs my hand and yells Happy Birthday!  "What kind of shot do you want?" she asks in my ear.  

I feel the warm trickle of tequila down my throat.

Slowly everyone starts jumping into cabs and i hop in one with Martin, Adam and Magnus.  I have two beers in hand and i smile at the driver.  Of course i'm sitting up front.  

"Hey i got one for you" i say, as try to put a beer on his lap.  He looks at me and gestures negatively.  One minute later he smiles and asks " You got one for me right?"  I grin as i hand him a Chang and he cracks it open.  I'm watching him drive and guzzle beer while we're all cheering for him to go 140Kph on PIE.  He's dipping fast and weaving around traffic.  As we arre getting off the exit he asks if i speak Spanish.  "Sure" i tell him.  Next he hands me his bluetooth and i hear a woman answer the phone.  A quick dirty phone call later, she hangs up on me. I'm pretty sure that i asked her how much for sex and we were negotiating a price.  Maybe i asked too low........

Our driver dropped us off in front of McDonald's and we needed to get to dbl-O.  I really needed a piss so i snuck off into some staircase and checked for surveillance cameras.  ALL SYSTEMS GO!  (Pissing in public in Singapore is absolute madness.)

There are tons of girls at the club and i wonder how many of them i'll hit on.  All of them, i dream. I pay my cover and head upstairs to see my girls enjoying free drinks at the bar.  Having a vagina on Wednesday's in Singapore must be heaven.  Khaleedah grabs my arm and orders five shots.  "Three are for you!!" she says, as she drives her finger into my chest.  I quickly try to think of a way to get out of this situation.  I don't want to take three shots in row, minutes within entering the club.  "You take two and we'll take the last ones together with Henrik."  Fuck.  I guess i have to.  I feel the cozy burn of tequila slide down my throat once again.

OK. It's Anna time.  I look around the crowd and there's tons of cuties around.  Just....have... to...pick...a....good....one......I'm introducing myself to some Turkish girl and she goes to NUS on exchange.  I tell her it's my birthday and smirk.  Soon we're chatting about how many brothers she has or something stupid.  I turn around and see Henrik.  I say some cocky bullshit in his ear and look over my shoulder.  The girl is making out with some guy real hard. What the fuck?  Slut....Whatever.

A dozen of these random girl encounters later and i'm outside and i spot Sabrina smoking a cigarette with Italian swagger.  The rest of the night i spent with her making out on the dancefloor.  She's not much of  a dancer.  More of a make out on everything type of girl i suppose. The night ends and i walk back to Vittorio's room and he realizes that he forgot his key.

"Watch out Vittorio.  Let me show you how Californians knock on doors."

"SSSSHhhhh ssssshhhhh, Dah-ko-ta is sleeeeeping!"

I push him out of the way and start banging on the door and start yelling.

"Hey tho dog!  Open up Po-Po!"

The door opens and Dakota is staring at me with that "You are an idiot" look.

I turn to Vittorio and raise my arms in victory.  

"See that's how you knock in California!"

I stumble my drunk ass home and pass out with my socks on.  Maybe i am an idiot.

Nanyang Tech

NTU isn't called Pulau NTU for no reason.  It's location is on the far West of Singapore and its brimming with overachieving Singaporean kids who are always in a rush running after the bus or busy cutting me in line at every food establishment.  Pulau means island in Malay and it description of NTU is dead on.  I  had  a cab driver get mad late at night because NTU was so far that we were his only fare that night.  Needless to say, i kept him entertained/irritated with my usual stream of questions.

"So how much does this car cost?"

"Man, this is a Mercedes! At least 100K here in Singapore."

"Why are you so proud of it? Isn't this your company car?"

"It's nice car."

"Yeah yeah.  Well let's see how fast it goes.  Take that shit up to 200Kph."

"Yeah right man.  Lose my license."

"Fine. Let me drive."

"You crazy man?  I still lose my license."

".......well at least cut off someone on the freeway or something.  Slam on your brakes in front of someone."

(the cabbie just shakes his head and turns up the radio.)

As i'm getting out of the car in front of our building i poke my head in his window and say, "Hey! How much can we pay you that you burn out after you drop us off in front of the security guard?"

Singapore is a funny type of place because the locals usually don't too much about their own island.  Ask about things to do at night and the only answer you get is Ministry of Sound, Zouk or just go to Clarke Quay.  Everyone goes out on Wednesday because it's ladies night and they drink free.  It's nice because girls can sneak you drinks and you can actually get away with it.  Last Wednesday was a complete blur.  I rounded up some friends and we cabbed out to Clarke Quay and alighted in front of Dbl-O.  Four Changs deep and i hand the doorman $25 and mutter, "Gimme my drink ticket."  It's Alisa's birthday and she's excited to see me.  Her boyfriend Joe shows up and we all drink a round.  There's an extra glass and Alisa hands it to me.  I head to the bar and show my drink ticket.  Right away i turn around and start chatting with some girl about nothing.  I slyly turn and grab my drink without surrendering my drink ticket.  Sneaky Bastard.  Minutes later, i head to the other bar to actually use my drink ticket and i meet some cute girl and we get to talking with the usual first words.  She decides that she likes me and hands me a drink that she got for free.  I hand her my drink ticket and she gets me a beer.  I love this girl. 

Meanwhile Alisa calls me and tells me to get back to the table for another round.  Slam it down and i started to chat with one of her guy friends.  He tells me that he's leaving and he hands me his drink ticket for the upstairs bar.  I ascend the stairs and hear the bass shaking in my chest.  The dance floor is full of sweaty asian guys

 rubbing their bodies on the 10 helpless girls on the dance floor.  The rest of the night gets blurry from there but......

I did manage to meet up with Synthia and toilet paper Big Sal in his sleep!

I didn't remember doing this but Big Sal does.

One of the worst things about NTU is the canteens.  Don't get me wrong, i love cheap food.  I also think that i have a crush on the Indian food lady. But every time that i spend even 5 minutes in the canteen, i end up smelling like i made McDonald's fries for an 8 hour shift.  My clothes don't stink a little, the smell holds on and lasts all day.  I eventually started to have a "canteen shirt" that i wear whenever i can.  

School here is too intense for one American to handle on his own.  I go to SDSU.  I'm used to easier stuff like online quizes that tell the answers and professors being really lenient about everything.  Here, everyone has multiple group projects running along with presentations due every week.   I don't know how some of these kids have jobs and do this shit.